Today is Monday July 16, 2012....I woke up early today. I decided that today is the day for me to start writing. I've been wanting to write for quite some time now but I have a hard time putting my thoughts on paper. I've started a new life. It's just me and my five children making it day by day. Where is dad you might ask...he's in the streets. You see, he is sick. He has a problem with addictions. I've suffered it all with him for the past 10 years and suddenly I feel I can't suffer anymore. I don't know I will make it but I have to have faith in God that he will pull me through just like he's always have. I don't have the answers to my future nor do I no what I will face alone but I fear not for his loving hands will protect me through it all.
My life has been a whirl wind of emotions and that I must control for I do not only depend on myself but young ones depend on me. My children are a gift from the Lord that I must cherish. From the oldest 15 yr old to the youngest 1 year old. I must work hard for them. I pray to God that He may keep them safe as I go to work and run errands for us. I pray that they continue to be in good health and be educated as I have been all my life.
Just another morning where are to reminisce about the times when he used to hug and kiss me to wake me up in the morning. I would push him away because I was so tired and I didn't want to wake up. I miss the sweetness of him, but not the sickness. I sleep well at night for the most part except...I always feel he's going to come inside the house and take my car keys and go. I get up only to find out that everything is still just where I placed it last night. I check my wallet and I still have my money and credit cards. I go back to bed. Ok....everything is ok. Then I close my eyes and back to sleep I go.
Posted with Blogsy